Marauding runs down the left for the Chicago Fire, PSV, Champions League semis, it all boded well for American soccer, and as an example of what American players should do to improve themselves.
But then came the World Cup, where you did your best zombie impression. It was clear your confidence was lost, and it really didn’t look too much better at Manchester City.
It appears that lack of confidence has led you to this point.
You’ve been linked to Rangers Football Club, and it looks like that’s where you’ll be plying your trade for the foreseeable future. I’m not sure you realize the ramifications of a move like this.
First, look at your compatriot Claudio Reyna’s career since he left Rangers. Injury, injury, decent performance, injury, injury, humiliatingly injured while Ghanaian player was stripping him of the ball and then scoring in the World Cup. That could be you.
For many people, including myself, joining Rangers is a point of no return. Just ask Kenny Miller. You’ll forever be associated with that club, and that is something I would not even wish upon Paris Hilton.
Judging by your wearing of red boots during your home debut for Man City, it’s apparent you’re clueless about footballing rivalries. No single non-military action creates more enemies for an individual than signing on the dotted line for Rangers.
And for what? To play for a team that’s in financial distress and has no hope of finishing better than second for the next decade?
And Rangers fans! Don’t even get me started on them. Here’s what you can expect from these Bluenoses (language warning, obviously, they’re Rangers supporters):
Do you really want people that ugly chanting your name? I wouldn’t either.
You still have the opportunity to prevent all this. As a fellow American, I don’t want to hate you, but I will if required. There is plenty of space next to Terrell Owens on the tippy top of my shitlist. Doesn’t Derby County need a winger or something?
I fear this may be our last friendly communication, so I’ll leave you with the following: “Once a Hun, always a Hun.” Google it.
